Sunday, January 30, 2005
as another weekend draws to a close, i find myself facing the daunting prospect of another long work week.
I have come to the painful realization that being a nice guy doesnt work. just goes to show my youthful innocent naivety. some people can get away with almost anything, but i, being the nice guy, gets raped for 1)committing some trivial errors 2) not doing anything wrong at all. Nice guys are perfect for being back stabbed.
in the past, i have been given ridculous punishments such as having to treat the ENTIRE branch to a meal, resulting in two thirds my pathetic monthly $1.80-an-hour salary being wiped out in a single afternoon. i mean, what the fuck right? what kind of screwed up punishment is that? and for stupid trivial errors. Its amazing how i didnt think it was that bad back then. I cant imagine the shitstorm that would happen if my parents knew this kind of thing happened to me. it has gotten to the point that whenever i walk across the office, i stare straight ahead, for fear of being arrowed, as if i am like a walking archery target.
my friend has been right in saying that i often do stupid things which make me even more of a target, kind of like 'digging my own grave'. so i guess i just have to be really serious and do things right to cover my own ass. No more 'blur' jon anymore.
the annoying thing is, i feel like i have lost. i always had pride in the belief that i was emotionally 'un-fazable' and would never be affected by anything. I think that this recent episode has been evidence against that, and thank goodness i know this now, before i start real work.
Perhaps the move to our new office served as the catalyst for my sudden shift in attitude. And hopefully last week was just the sudden reverse reaction, and that this coming week will be filled with less negativity, for the sake of my friendships.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the weekend was a welcome break. had lots of fun, met my aussie friends and tagged along with to my gf's classmates suprise bday party. woo~
I have come to the painful realization that being a nice guy doesnt work. just goes to show my youthful innocent naivety. some people can get away with almost anything, but i, being the nice guy, gets raped for 1)committing some trivial errors 2) not doing anything wrong at all. Nice guys are perfect for being back stabbed.
in the past, i have been given ridculous punishments such as having to treat the ENTIRE branch to a meal, resulting in two thirds my pathetic monthly $1.80-an-hour salary being wiped out in a single afternoon. i mean, what the fuck right? what kind of screwed up punishment is that? and for stupid trivial errors. Its amazing how i didnt think it was that bad back then. I cant imagine the shitstorm that would happen if my parents knew this kind of thing happened to me. it has gotten to the point that whenever i walk across the office, i stare straight ahead, for fear of being arrowed, as if i am like a walking archery target.
my friend has been right in saying that i often do stupid things which make me even more of a target, kind of like 'digging my own grave'. so i guess i just have to be really serious and do things right to cover my own ass. No more 'blur' jon anymore.
the annoying thing is, i feel like i have lost. i always had pride in the belief that i was emotionally 'un-fazable' and would never be affected by anything. I think that this recent episode has been evidence against that, and thank goodness i know this now, before i start real work.
Perhaps the move to our new office served as the catalyst for my sudden shift in attitude. And hopefully last week was just the sudden reverse reaction, and that this coming week will be filled with less negativity, for the sake of my friendships.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the weekend was a welcome break. had lots of fun, met my aussie friends and tagged along with to my gf's classmates suprise bday party. woo~
